Sunday, May 13, 2007

Last Shopping Trip – with my sons!


Time: Some 15 years earlier than my last post.
Place: Another supermarket.
Company: My two sons, then in early teens and extremely self-conscious in public.

Me, spying a familiar face as we pass in the aisle: “Oh, hello, nice to see you!”
Familiar Face: “Hi to you too!”

We pass one another again in the cereal aisle, exchanging nods and smiles.
Sons: “Please don’t stop and talk, Mum! Anyway, who is she?”

Next aisle, we face and pass one another yet again, like jousting knights riding trolleys with squeaky wheels.
Me: “It’s been ages since I’ve seen you; how are you?”
Familiar Face: “Well, thank you. How are you?”
Sons (aside): “Mum, you don’t know her – don’t keep talking to her.”

Me, to sons: “Yes I do. I typed assignments for her some time ago.”

We arrive at adjacent checkouts.
“Family well?”
“Yes, great; yours?”
“Yes, good thanks.”
“Well, see y’later.”

Outside, there she is again, in her car ready to drive off. As she lowers her window, on impulse I ask, “Did you get a good mark in your final assignment?”

[Now-not-so] Familiar Face: “OK, now I KNOW that I DON’T KNOW you!”

[Sons, shrinking in total embarrassment, silently vow to devote the rest of their teenage years seeking revenge!]

Thursday, May 03, 2007

"Who do you think I am?"

...Scene: Supermarket, locked in a checkout queue. I spot Jim further back in the queue.

Me: “G’day Jim!”

‘Jim’: “What did you just call me?”


“Do I look like Jim?”

“Yes, you do.”

“Do you think I am Jim?”

“Well I did, but now I [am extremely embarrassed and] see I have made a mistake!

‘Jim’, to at least four people standing between us in the queue: “Do I look like Jim?...I don't feel like Jim...I wasn't Jim the last time I looked..."

Help! Get me out of here! turn at last…