Making the Most of a Soggy Bottom

Today, to finish off my end-of-year break from work, I plotted a treat of several hours at a popular outlet and clearance centre. Starting with a good-sized cappuccino coffee, I settled comfortably on the coffee shop lounge chair and reached into my bag for my book. Horror of horrors! I brushed the cardboard coffee cup and upset the entire contents into my lap, soaking shirt, thighs and bottom! Hot rivulets of coffee began streaming on the soft vinyl lounge beneath me.

After mopping up, I nonchalantly made haste to the centre's restrooms, leaving a dripping trail behind me. But dozens of shoppers' eyes directed their attention to my soggy mess when one of the coffee shop staff chased after me, loudly calling: "Hey! Did you know you've left your handbag behind!"

Wouldn't you know it, there was a long queue for the rest room, and by the time it was my turn I had been observed and contemplated by all. Sympathetic looks queried: "Have her waters broken?", changing on noting my maturity to: "Poor soul must have a problem with bladder control". More eyes kept joining the end of the queue as it edged towards the few cubicles and I knew there would be no privacy for rinsing out the spill.

Now I am not one to retreat from life's challenges, so I considered only two options. I could (1) buy a change of clothes from one of the clothing outlets, or (2) visit the clearance bookshop where I could happily lurk and be entertained amongst the shelves and tables of books till I dried out.

Two hours later I returned to my car, head held high, stained but dry, and with a nice little pile of good books. Cost less than a new set of clothes too.